Archive for July, 2009

3 days away from my goal of 30lbs in 30 days!!

Ok..so it just kind of hit me that I’m almost at the end of my first 4 weeks. I started this journey on the hcg protocol a little bit unsure of what would happen and I’ll admit, although I had read hundres of blogs and posts and success stories, I still was a little pessimistic considering the numerous attempts I had made at losing weight..I had a hard time believing that there was something out there that would work this well and i DIDN’T know about it?!  But I will say now..without a shadow of a doubt..I AM A BELIEVER!  Still in a little shock that it’s actually working exactly like they said it would..but sooo happy!

 I had lost 10lbs on my own…so my total weight loss at this point is 36.4…26.4 of which was in the last 24 days!! I only have 3 days to go to try to get the remaining 3.6 lbs off…so wish me luck!!

Day 22…the plateau has broken!!!

Starting Weight: 245 lbs
Today’s Weight: 211 lbs
Total Weight loss: 34 lbs

YAY!!! The plateau has FINALLY broken! I don’t know why..but for some reason I really just thought that this whole “plateau ” thing would not happen to me?! But, sure enough..just like everything that I’ve read…it started the Monday of week 3 and lasted until Friday! I stuck to the plan..and I think that’s what helped the scale finally move on Friday..but pheww GLAD that’s over!

Today has been the hardest day so far to stay on the diet..I will be honest here..finally..after dinner tonight which I had some ground beef and green beans, I broke down and went to the store and bought sugar free popsicles…now, I don’t know if that’s what I would consider ‘cheating’ ..BUT, it’s not on the approved food list..so take that however you want haha. I did do the research first to find out..’IF” you were going to cheat..what would be the best thing to do it with..and this was the conclusion that I came to. They literally have NOTHING in them except 15 calories..so how bad can it really be?? Guess I’ll find out in the morning =(

For some reason..probably because I was bored and just laid around all day watching TV i.e. lazy sunday!, and maybe it was just habit that I was hungry…and I found myself daydreaming about pizza and ice cream and french fries HAHA it was really funny when I realized what I was thinking about HA.  I hope it’s not like this the whole week…but usually I stay busy all day so I’m sure this was part of it!

I spent quite awhile yesterday just trying on clothes in my closet again..I went down another size..so I’m ‘almost’ back into a 12!! The 14’s are fitting very comfortably..maybe a little loose..so that’s VERY exciting!

Oh..and another interesting thing that happened at church this morning…I was sitting there and out of the blue realized..I WAS CROSSING MY LEGS!! I think this may have been the first time in a few years that I’ve comfortably sat with my legs crossed! Its amazing the little things that being overweight has an impact on =( And there’s just something inherently feminine about being able to cross your legs…anyway..it was very cool!

I also started eating a 1/2 cup of cottage cheese as replacement for my lunch ‘meat’ on occasion..which is usually chicken for lunch and dinner..and I’m afraid I’m getting a little burnt out with the chicken..and I LOVE cottage cheese and really missed having dairy in my diet..so I added this in yesterday and again today and it was great!

So..that’s all for now, I’m hoping to stay consistent with the 1lb loss per day..at this pace, I should reach my total goal of 165lbs by my birthday..Sep. 5!!

Food Log

Exercise Log

Day 13 on hCG and 17lbs gone!

Starting Weight: 233 lbs
Today’s Weight: 216 lbs
Total Weight loss: 17 lbs

So, I can’t explain how excited and hopeful I am today…the end of this week my weight loss slowed a little..I only lost .5 lbs on wed. and .4 lbs on thur. But then when I got up this morning and weighed, I had lost 2.3 lbs…which totally made up for it! I just can’t believe that I’ve lost 17 lbs in 13 days..that is truly unbelievable to me.

Here are some exciting things that happened this week: Wore a pair of jeans that I bought 3 years ago..wore once and then gained too much weight to ever wear again. And today, I have on a pair of Victoria Secret “pink” sweatpants that I”ve been dying to wear again..they were my favorite about 3 years ago but I grew out of them rather quickly…and am so excited to be able to wear them again! I am finding myself spending time, just standing in my closet just trying on everything that hasn’t fit in over 3 years..it’s really a liberating and motivating thing to do!

I also realized that this is the week that people start ‘noticing’ me again. This whole experience of going from having a great body and getting attention etc.. to gaining so much weight that some people didn’t even recognize me has really been hard on the ego and confidence. I think the central theme throughout it has been the question of “is there more to me than just the way I look?” and it’s really made me stop and ask myself where my confidence comes from..and I think in the past I got so much attention because of my appearance that I began to rely on that to fuel my self esteem. So, when that goes away..what do you have left? I’ve noticed over the past 3-4 years that everytime something goes wrong in my life, I’ve blamed it on the fact that I was overweight..and I’ve found myself saying ” well if I was thin and attractive, that wouldn’t have happened” and unfortunately…many of the times that is true. I don’t care what anyone says but the fact of the matter is…people get treated differently based upon their appearance. I’ve experienced it myself many many times. Having gone from thin, to overweight you get an up close and personal glimpse at the true colors and integrity of people. Maybe that was the whole point of my experience, I’m yet to know that at this point. However, I can guarantee that it has changed the way that I view people and interact with them.

While I’m in deep thought here lol, I’d also like to talk about self image. I find it fascinating to watch those programs where girls who are barely 125 lbs get up and talk about how they think of themselves as being ‘fat’..and when they look in the mirror they see a ‘fat’ person. I believe they call this ‘body dismorphia’. However, I have never heard an overweight person say that they have the opposite problem..where they don’t recognize themselves as being as overweight as they really are. I don’t know if I am the only person who has experienced this or not but I will never forget the first photograph that I saw of myself after I had begun gaining weight. It launched me into a pretty deep depression because I had NEVER thought of myself as looking like that. When I saw that photo I literally had to look at it for several seconds before even realizing that I was in the photo. I think my mental image of myself was the way that I had always looked, and I never replaced it with the ACTUAL way that I looked..it was a very hard reality to take. Even now, I struggle with this b/c in my mind, I don’t see myself as being overweight..and even thought I’ve lost a total of 30lbs since March, I feel like I should look ‘back to normal’..and I am noticing that my confidence is coming back. However, just yesterday when I passed by a window of a store and saw myself…I realized that I’ve still got a long way to go…before I’m back to normal. It was almost as if someone took a pin and completely bursted my balloon and I said to myself “ya, your still fat, don’t get too excited”. Which is a negative thought that I am trying to replace with positive thoughts..but honestly, it was my first thought.

There are some times when I look forward to a day when I don’t have to constantly worry about what I look like, or feel uncomfortable in clothes, or live by the scale…and I know that day is alot closer than it was 2 months ago. So this process is not only an exercise in self confidence..but also in PATIENCE!

Food Log

Exercise Log

Day 9 on hcg and LOVING IT!!

Starting Weight: 233.4 lbs
Today’s Weight: 219 lbs
Total Weight loss: 14.4 lbs

Well…I haven’t had a chance to update this since I left last friday for my parents house for the Fourth of July weekend. I was kind of worried about how that would go since this weekend is typically known for partying on the lake and eating and drinking. My mom was really great about supporting me by preparing enough chicken, vegetables and fruit to get me through the weekend so that wasn’t a problem. On Friday when I got there she had filet mignon and vegetables ready (I saved my 1 red meat all week for this!) and then came the challenge..my step dad was whipping up margaritas behind the bar meanwhile I sucked down 2 liters of water..fun huh?
I got up the next morning and went for a 30 minute run which was great to really clear my head of all of the problems from the previous week and let me just refocus on my priorities. The rest of the day I stayed right on track with my diet and water however, after much internet research on the effects of having alcohol on this diet..I decided to try it myself so I made a Rum and Diet Coke using 1 oz of Bacardi and 1 can of diet coke. The interesting part was that about half way through it I noticed that I was feeling kind of nauseuos and really didn’t even feel like finishing it although I can say that the effects WERE much stronger! So that part is true..and not necessarily a bad thing..makes me a pretty cheap date at this point haha. But..after I finished that drink I decided that I really wasn’t interested in drinking anymore..and much to my surprise, I got up the next morning and weighed in with a 1 lbs weight loss!! So..no harm..no foul!

The weekend went relatively smoothly although I did realize some important things about myself…that most of the calories I consumed in the past were out of habit and boredom. On my 5 hour drive up there and back home, I packed fruit, chicken, carrots and plenty of water (not good for the bathroom stops!!!) so that I wouldn’t get hungry. But when my daughter and I stopped at a convenience store and she got a donut and fruit punch..I realized that had I not been on the protocol, I probably would have eaten some sort of unhealthy junk..not too mention the inevitable fast food stop on the way. So..it was a much needed change and a healthy dose of reality. But all in all..I came home 2lbs less for the weekend…and I consider that a SUCCESS!!

Food Log

Exercise Log

Day 9 on hcg and LOVING IT!!

Starting Weight: 233.4 lbs (May 28, 2009)
Today’s Weight: 219 lbs
Total Weight loss: 14.4 lbs

Well…I haven’t had a chance to update this since I left last friday for my parents house for the Fourth of July weekend. I was kind of worried about how that would go since this weekend is typically known for partying on the lake and eating and drinking. My mom was really great about supporting me by preparing enough chicken, vegetables and fruit to get me through the weekend so that wasn’t a problem. On Friday when I got there she had filet mignon and vegetables ready (I saved my 1 red meat all week for this!) and then came the challenge..my step dad was whipping up margaritas behind the bar meanwhile I sucked down 2 liters of water..fun huh?
I got up the next morning and went for a 30 minute run which was great to really clear my head of all of the problems from the previous week and let me just refocus on my priorities. The rest of the day I stayed right on track with my diet and water however, after much internet research on the effects of having alcohol on this diet..I decided to try it myself so I made a Rum and Diet Coke using 1 oz of Bacardi and 1 can of diet coke. The interesting part was that about half way through it I noticed that I was feeling kind of nauseuos and really didn’t even feel like finishing it although I can say that the effects WERE much stronger! So that part is true..and not necessarily a bad thing..makes me a pretty cheap date at this point haha. But..after I finished that drink I decided that I really wasn’t interested in drinking anymore..and much to my surprise, I got up the next morning and weighed in with a 1 lbs weight loss!! So..no harm..no foul!

The weekend went relatively smoothly although I did realize some important things about myself…that most of the calories I consumed in the past were out of habit and boredom. On my 5 hour drive up there and back home, I packed fruit, chicken, carrots and plenty of water (not good for the bathroom stops!!!) so that I wouldn’t get hungry. But when my daughter and I stopped at a convenience store and she got a donut and fruit punch..I realized that had I not been on the protocol, I probably would have eaten some sort of unhealthy junk..not too mention the inevitable fast food stop on the way. So..it was a much needed change and a healthy dose of reality. But all in all..I came home 2lbs less for the weekend…and I consider that a SUCCESS!!

Food Log

Exercise Log

Day 4

Well today was my first real challenge…dining out! I met a friend for lunch today and we went to Champps..I had scheduled this lunch date with her about 2 weeks ago..before I knew I would be going on the hcg protocol. I think that if I had known, I would have scheduled to meet for coffee or tee haha. But I made it through with flying colors…luckily my sister works at this restaurant and was able to guide me through the ordering so that I could get something that was actually ‘healthy’. I ended up with a plain chicken breast with cajun seasoning and plain steamed broccoli. I’m not a fan of broccoli at all..so this was the most difficult part because there was absolutely no taste to the broccoli at all..I think I realized that the broccoli that I could stand to choke down was obviously loaded with butter and oil and ’stuff’ lol.
I knew that I was eating out today and was kind of worried about not being able to control how the food was prepared (sometimes when you tell them no oil or butter they still put it on!) so this morning I got up and went to the gym and rode the stationary bike for 70 minutes. I’m a big Michael Jackson fan so this morning the Today show was live from Neverland Ranch..so i got to watch that which really passed the time. Although, when Matt Lauer did the interview with Jermaine Jackson..I really had to hold back tears..it was soo sad, but I thought I would look pretty silly crying while riding the bike haha.
So…after I told someone that I had lost 10lbs since Monday morning..which is only in 4 days! They asked me, ” ya..well…how do you feel?” so, I thought I would put together a little list of things that I realized today that I know longer have an issue with…
sleeping - much better rested during the day
water retention - totally gone! I can even get my wedding rings on and off..before I had to just leave them on or risking breaking a finger trying to get them off!
heartburn - had this really bad on the loading days…2 days of pizza, chicken wings and burgers will do that to you! It is totally gone, don’t even have a slight hint of any heartburn or indigestion
Energy - I don’t find myself crashing in the afternoon at all anymore..I’m pretty much ready for bed at 10:30 and ready to get up at 7

So I would say that overall, I’m VERY pleased with this program..I mean, 10lbs lost in 4 days..I can’t wait for happens in 2 weeks!

Food Log

Exercise Log

Day 2

Day 2

Starting Weight: 233.4
Yesterdays Weight: 228.8
Todays Weight: 225.8
Day 2 weight loss = 3lbs
Total Weight Loss = 7.6lbs

Well i was surprised that I lost 3 lbs yesterday!! I stuck to the diet but left out the bread because I didn’t get my workout in..so I thought it may be somewhat of an even trade! I can honestly say that I had one of the worst days yesterday that I’ve had in a very long time. I am a real estate broker and had several deals fall through on top of that, a business partnership dismantle, and coming to the realization that I will most likely end up seperating from my husband very soon.
I don’t know if this is some sort of ‘challenge’ or what..but given the fact that it is well documented how much my emotions play a part of my weight…it’s pretty difficult to stay focused on the task at hand with all of these grenades going off around you..but I am proud to say that I stuck to the course and had good results regardless of my circumstances.
I think what makes this diet so easy to stay on is due to the excitement of getting up every morning and seeing the scale go down a little more each day..it’s a major motivator.
It could be the fact that I am also taking Phentermine, or the fact that I am eating more throughout the day than I used to..but I really haven’t gotten hungry at all. I found a really good spice to put on my chicken last night, it was called ‘Smokey Mesquite’ by Weber Grill spices…I really like those, I think I have them in every flavor lol
Weight is such a weird thing for me..I’ve always weighed more than other people my height. In fact, most of my life I’ve been told that my ‘ideal weight’ is 130-135 but I can tell you..i weighed 130lbs at one time and I looked HORRIBLE and sickly…it’s not good on me. For the first time ever..when I started this program and they did an ELG which tells you your ideal weight in correlation with your muscle mass..mine was 165lbs. Which is perfect for me! I weighed 170lbs on the day that I got married 5 years ago..and was wearing a size 7-8. I’ve always had an athletic build and been muscular and still continue to weight train now…as an athlete growing up I think I built alot of muscle, of course beneath several layers of fat at this point, but for some reason nobody has EVER been able to believe that I weigh as much as I do. For example, even now..at 225lbs..I’m wearing a size 14-16 (mainly in pants cuz I have a booty!), my goal is to get down to 165lbs and back into a size 7 and at this point I’m well on my way!!

Food Log

Exercise Log

Day 1

Hi everyone, as you can see, I’ve decided to embark on quite a journey that I hope will both add and subtract from my life. In this journey I am hoping to add some self discovery while subtracting some pounds! For those of you who do not know what the hCG protocol is please visit this website to read all about it http://www.hcgdietinfo.com/ . Let me tell you how I even found out about this…

I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Disease in 2006 after realizing that after 4 years of being married, my husband and I had not conceived. I never thought that I would have a problem in that area considering that 9 years earlier in 1997 I got pregnant with my daughter Lexy as a senior in college..certainly no fertility issues then! But apparently our bodies can change! In 2005 I noticed that I was unable to lose weight as easily as I had been able to in the past and that the 5-10lbs that I would pick up when I slowed down my workouts were not coming off as easily when I went back to eating right and working out. But, I was approaching 30..so I thought maybe that had something to do with it. When I hit 25lbs gained in less than 3 months I started seeing doctors..and specialists..who ‘tested’ every drug possibly on me for 3.5 years meanwhile I kept gaining to a total of 75lbs in 2 years..before I finally said ENOUGH!

I read several articles that said alot of times if you deliver a child, it will eliminate some of your PCOS issues (with weight gain and inability to lose being top on the list) and ‘reset’ your hormones and metabolism. So..at the age of 33, my husband and I decided that we would employ fertility methods and attempt to concieve. The first time I took only clomid and did not concieve. The second time I took clomind AND the doctor suggested that she give me a shot of hCG which is the hormone that stimulates ovulation. This time it worked, 3 weeks later I found out that I was pregnant. However, it only lasted approximately 9 weeks and I miscarried. The miscarriage happened on the heels of the passing of my Mother-in-law from cancer so it was pretty traumatic and we decided to wait to try again.
So, here I am 2 years later and I was wondering if we were to try again..would I need to pay the outrageous price for the doctor to give me one injection of hCG, or is it something that I can purchase and do myself? Therefore, it was during a google search for “hcg injection” that I found thousands of results..all referring to the ‘hcg diet’. After learning more about it, I was both excited and infuriated. Excited because it seemed that every single person who followed the protocol lost .5-2lbs PER DAY. It was very consistent…not like when you look up a new diet supplement you see on tv and some people say they liked it and some say they didn’t lose anything. This was 100% consistent with EVERYONE singing its praises. I was lucky enough to find a clinic just 20 minutes from me who administers the program http://www.henslerweightloss.com/ So I called immediately and scheduled and appointment for the next day to get my bloodwork drawn and see the doctor. I was cleared to start the program and since I was in relatively good shape, blood pressure very low..cholesterol good, he decided to go ahead and give me a prescription of Phentermine, which I had tried on several occasions before..this should help to jump start the program!
After a weekend of loading…I started the program yesterday. And I can say that I was never so happy to eat vegetables and fruit! I never thought I’d hear myself say this..but I was so tired of eating junk and fatty foods that I felt awful!
So, yesterday went really well…I wasn’t hungry at all and at all of the food I was supposed to, I even drank the entire gallon of water..which was a first for me..I’m not a big water drinker! Running to the bathroom every five minutes was not that fun either..but it’s well worth the results! I can’t believe I actually lost 4.7lbs in 24 hours..amazing!! Here is what I ate:

Breakfast: 1/2 c of cantaloupe
Lunch: 1 chicken breast (100g) and 1/2 cup of chopped tomatoes w/garlic herb seasoning
Snack: 1 clementine tangerine and 2 Alessi breadsticks
Dinner: 1 chicken breast (100g) and 1/2 cup of spinach with vinegar and 1/2 slice of Italian Rosemary Bread (artisan)
Snack: 1 clementine tangerine
1 gallon of water throughout the day

Excercise:
60 minutes on the bike in the gym at 7am
45 minutes bike riding outdoors on a trail at 6pm

Starting Weight: 233.4
New Weight: 228.8
Weight Loss: 4.7lbs

Food Log

Exercise Log